We all have them. Mine look a little like this: I wake up to a kiddo screaming from a nightmare, or screaming because he wet the bed. I stumble in my sleepy stupor to their room to comfort them, stepping on a lego on my way. Arriving in tears to calm them and wipe up theirs, I soon discover that its not a nightmare, but a fully blown-out poopy diaper that upset the baby. And why wouldn't it? I would wake up screaming too if i woke up sitting in that mess.. Anyway, its a little silly, dealing with a blown out diaper, because you don't want to pick the baby up really, but you have to at SOME point as they stand there staring with tears running down their eyes.. And once you work up the gumption to pick him up, the next question is "where do I put you?" Anyway, I carry the sweet innocent pooper to the bathroom and sacrifice the floor rug while I run a bath. Trying to carefully undress the little fella I place him into the tub of water that I forgot to test and its just a TAD chilly, causing more screams... Meanwhile the other kiddo awakes and announces "I WANT WAFFLES! MOM MAKE ME SOME WAFFLES!"... wow. We really got off to a good start there.
Its so great, to write all that out, its almost FUNNY... admit it, you laughed a little. But in the moment I am battling to keep my cool, as my foot bleeds from the lego, my mind is screaming to run and escape. I am so not cut out for this. And yet, at the end of the day, we are all still alive somehow.
Let me change gears. We are gluten and dairy free in this home, and have been for 2 years now. Its fairly easy now that we've established this lifestyle. I bake a lot from scratch and it helps. And I plan meals ahead, and do all the shopping to be prepared. Because face it, when you are hungry, the last thing you want to do is try and plan out and cook an elaborate meal. Eating out at restaurants isn't always really gluten-free friendly. Which means that i have to plan carefully if I'm going to be out of the house for an extended period of time. I usually pack a suitcase full of snacks for the kids but sometimes... a bad day looks like this...
Yes indeed. That is full-of-gluten Pizza and Hot dog from Coscto. Doesn't look like such a bad day now does it?... (well we paid the price the next day)...
Well anyway, you get my point. I have good intentions and fully plan to bounce out of bed feeling refreshed, start my day right with quiet Bible time before the kids awake rosy cheeked and sunshiny, have breakfast prepared (while the dishes are running, and the laundry is rotated)... As we eat together, while reciting and learning our Bible verse for the day with the sun shining in the window, we plan the fun activities we will do together that day...These days don't ever happen. Would you believe that i really do daydream that pretty picture? We have awesome days, but I pressure myself way to much to have these shiny happy days.. It just isn't realistic. God is constantly working and chiseling at my heart..He is telling me to loosen up. Lighten up. Relax. But mostly, He is reminding me that my heart attitude is what is most important. If my kids are fed, bathed, hugged, and loved, they wont remember a shiny clean house so much, but they WILL remember if I responded to them kindly instead of sharply. They will remember if I was always smiling, or if I was always frowning in frustration. They will remember if I was relaxed enough to enjoy them, or too "pressed for time" and telling them constantly to "go play"...
My constant prayer for myself is that I can have bad days with grace. That I can cherish the happy grins as they eat the awful gluten-pizza.. That I can laugh in the moment with poop all over the bathtub, that I can be grateful for the washing machine to wash the sheets for the 4th time this week.. that my "bad" days would actually be great days with lots of extra grace.
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