I think it looks a little differently for everyone..
For me, right now, it looks like a life that has purpose mostly in regards to my walk with God, and in raising my kids to know him and follow him too.
The Difficult:
*Refraining from screaming and yelling when I am upset.
*Cutting down on the time I spend on my cellphone, ESPECIALLY in front of the kids.
*Thinking before I speak, both with my kids and with my husband as well.
*Slowing down my day to try and balance my responsibilities with spending QUALITY and FOCUSED time with my kids. Not just flipping the pages of a book, but actually listening to them. Looking at them. Asking them questions and caring about the answers. Getting on the floor and doing what they want to do.
The Simple:
*gaining more time with my kids
*feeling free from some of the stress I have been putting on myself, by letting some of the housework wait, in trade for more time with the boys.
*watching my sweet little men respond in positive ways to the increase in quality time spent with them.
*the satisfaction of less time "wasted" as my kids grow and develop.
I feel God working in my heart, and softening my heart towards my boys. He has entrusted me with these blessings, and I want to make the most of my time with them. I feel like even typing these thoughts makes me more vulnerable to failing in these areas. I realize that many days wont be easy. My own selfish habits and nature fight against me. Some days I feel lazy. Too tired. Lacking in motivation. I would rather turn on a movie and let the movie watch my kids. Some days I want to run and hide, or put in earplugs... I dont want to deal with the arguing, the constant questioning, the thousands of messes, the whining, the screaming, the fighting, the discipline, the training, the guiding, teaching, molding... And maybe just maybe I will need a movie break some days, but I want to let go of living in survival mode, and really utilize my days. God called me to it, He can and will bring me through it.
I know God made it possible for me to quit my job last October. The first few months after Ethan's Autism/ADHD diagnosis, I was trying to get a handle on figuring out how to help him, at the same time I was attempting to find a groove, being new at staying at home full time with both kids. In hindsight I realize that I spent so much time and focus trying to make my house "perfect" and "functional" I started to lose Ethan in the process. He started acting up more. More tantrums, more meltdowns, more arguing, more anxiety. More struggle. Something had to change.
So here is to change. Here is to being intentional. To focusing on today, being present, and having fun...
I am so excited that I captured this moment. After months of tracing, copying, and me telling him the letters, Ethan wrote him name all by himself without any prompting from me. This is a big deal!!!!
This is a penguin craft that the kids did at co-op. So cute! Ethan is learning how to sit in a class type setting, listen to instructions, play and interact with other kids.. some days he spends time under the table, or pouting in the corner. But we are there, once a week, and we are trying, and learning.
Luke has gotten into the busy, naughty 2-year old fun stage. He is into EVERYTHING. I ask him to stop something and he will do it with a naughty grin on his face. He likes to dig in my Tupperware and pots and pans.. I make it my personal goal to find things to keep him busy that are not a threat to his safety.
January in Oregon is not outside-play-weather. But we had a day of not rain, so we took advantage of it. I put 4 layers on Luke (no joke) and they had fun running and throwing balls around the driveway.
Aside from Tupperware, Luke's other passion is water. My mom suggested throwing towels on the floor and letting him go to town.. I added some carrots and cucumbers to make it "soup" and he spent over an hour in watery bliss.
I love to bake. This is something I can do for me, that the kids enjoy (duh)... I hope some day to teach my kids to bake, but right now, its a nightmare to have them in my kitchen. I hate mess.. kids in the kitchen ALWAYS mean a mess.. I am a work in progress...what can I say?
... speaking of kitchen nightmares.. this happened today. I took it as an opportunity to calmly further reinforce why I DONT allow the kids to take stuff off the kitchen counter. My first true test in living Intentionally.
I give pinterest full credit for this idea. The boys LOVE it.
Pipes, suction cups, and plastic epoxy glue = hours of bathtub water fun.
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